do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
