I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
