they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
