She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
