Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
