Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
