I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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