I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
