i permit you to call me
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
