so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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