guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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