another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
