i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
