The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
