They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
