So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
