dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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