He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
