It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
