I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
