i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Congratulations! We have a period
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
