go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
