Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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