either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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