Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
