Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
