Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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