I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
