Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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