It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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