There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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