spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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