Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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