can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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