He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
