Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You ruined the universe
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