Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize