I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
