they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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