there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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