You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
