getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
