I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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