Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My penis needs a shock collar
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
