oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize