Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My friends, they love my intelligence
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
