i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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