is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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