DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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