never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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