If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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