No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
A bitchslap is in order.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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