If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
