so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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