I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The air taste purple.
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