that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
