The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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