those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
