Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
