hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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