so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
