everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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