if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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