DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
