Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
