I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize