My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
