Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Come on in and take your pants off
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