stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
